Healing Hearts Activity
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Instructions: Use the Healing Hearts pattern if you would like to cut out two pieces of fabric that remind the child of their loved one. This could be an actual article of clothing from their loved one or maybe has a design that reminds them of their loved one. 1) Pin the two pieces of fabric together with the sides that you want on the outside facing together. |
2) Pull the thread from the spool until it is as long as one of your arms and then cut the string. Put the thread through the hole in the top of the needle. Pull the two ends of the thread until they are the same size at the bottom with the needle at the top. Make a couple knots with the two ends of string.
3) Sew around the heart leaving a half inch of fabric on the outside of where you sew.
4) When you start to run out of thread (about 3 inches left), put the needle through a small piece of the fabric and pull until a loop forms with the thread. Put the needle through that loop and pull all the way and then do that one more time. Then you can cut the thread off the needle and start again with a new piece of string.
5) Remember to leave a couple inches open at the end so you have space to put the stuffing in.
3) Sew around the heart leaving a half inch of fabric on the outside of where you sew.
4) When you start to run out of thread (about 3 inches left), put the needle through a small piece of the fabric and pull until a loop forms with the thread. Put the needle through that loop and pull all the way and then do that one more time. Then you can cut the thread off the needle and start again with a new piece of string.
5) Remember to leave a couple inches open at the end so you have space to put the stuffing in.
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6) Flip the heart inside out.
7) Stuff the heart full of stuffing. 8) Sew up the opening 9) When you are done sewing the opening, put the needle through a small piece of the fabric and pull until a loop forms with the thread. Put the needle through that loop and pull all the way and then do that one more time. Then you can cut the thread off the needle and start again with a new piece of string. And voila! Now they will have a healing heart that they can squeeze and snuggle with when they want to feel more connected to the loved one that they are remembering. |
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Grief Dream Catchers Activity
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Instructions: Instructions: Lay out all the supplies and ask the children or child that you are working with to make a dream catcher. While they create, ask them if they have ever had a grief dream (a dream that involved a loved one who has died)? If yes, ask them if they feel comfortable sharing it with you. If no, ask them if they could have a dream about a loved one who has died how would they want it to look. Try to get them to add in as much detail as possible. The best way I have found to do this is to have them engage with all their senses. What does it look like? What does it sound like? What does it smell like? What does it feel like? Are their any tastes in the dream? Perhaps a magical fountain full of chocolate ice cream, cotton candy clouds, or trees that grow wild berry Skittles? |
If they want they can even draw or paint this wonderful grief dream they wish they could have. Sometimes, this can help to counteract negative dreams and bring more peaceful sleeps for kiddos. Some of us struggle to remember our dreams but having calmer more peaceful dreams may change how rested we feel in the morning whether or not we remember the dreams we had.
Try this activity for yourself and see if it changes your dreams or how rested you feel in the mornings.
When I used this activity, it was at a Children’s Grief Horse Camp, hence the horseshoe. We went to a beautiful space for the horse camp called Empowered By Horses in Abbotsford, BC. They were so great with the kiddos and very knowledgeable on how to get the kids engaging with their healing four-legged friends.
What I like about this activity is that it gives the opportunity for children to talk about what dreams they have had or have not had about their loved one who has died. In small groups we talked about our grief dreams or lack of grief dreams as we weaved our dream catchers together.
If I was working one-to-one with a child, and they talked about either having difficult or scary grief dreams, or have not had any and that has left them feeling sad, I usually ask if they would like to try another activity that has shown to be quite helpful. There is a grief dreams activity worksheet by Dr. Joshua Black who studies grief dreams and their effects on the dreamer. I have used this worksheet with a few children one-to one and with groups of adults and I have had feedback that it helped to reduce their more uncomfortable grief dreams and has sometimes even replaced the bad dreams with good ones.
Moreover, if the child you are working with has not had any grief dreams and feels left out from others who have, Dr. Joshua Black also wrote a book called Dreaming of Owl that may help children process their feelings about not getting to have grief dreams of their loved ones.
Try this activity for yourself and see if it changes your dreams or how rested you feel in the mornings.
When I used this activity, it was at a Children’s Grief Horse Camp, hence the horseshoe. We went to a beautiful space for the horse camp called Empowered By Horses in Abbotsford, BC. They were so great with the kiddos and very knowledgeable on how to get the kids engaging with their healing four-legged friends.
What I like about this activity is that it gives the opportunity for children to talk about what dreams they have had or have not had about their loved one who has died. In small groups we talked about our grief dreams or lack of grief dreams as we weaved our dream catchers together.
If I was working one-to-one with a child, and they talked about either having difficult or scary grief dreams, or have not had any and that has left them feeling sad, I usually ask if they would like to try another activity that has shown to be quite helpful. There is a grief dreams activity worksheet by Dr. Joshua Black who studies grief dreams and their effects on the dreamer. I have used this worksheet with a few children one-to one and with groups of adults and I have had feedback that it helped to reduce their more uncomfortable grief dreams and has sometimes even replaced the bad dreams with good ones.
Moreover, if the child you are working with has not had any grief dreams and feels left out from others who have, Dr. Joshua Black also wrote a book called Dreaming of Owl that may help children process their feelings about not getting to have grief dreams of their loved ones.
Layers of Love Activity
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Instructions: Have the child fill the glass container with different colours of sand. With each layer they would be encouraged (but never forced) to share a memory of their loved one. At the same time, I invite them to write out a legend with all of the layers and the memories shared for each one. Sometimes they have asked me to write this out for them as they share.
Using the Layers of Love Activity with a Group: When I used this in a family art night, I got the family members to sit together in small circles and each pick out a different colour of sand. As they went around their circle, they would pour a layer in their glass container and share their memory of the loved one they are grieving. I would also get someone in their group to inscribe their legend of what each layer represents. Then, at the end, I would provide them with a small candle to place at the top, snuggled into the sand. I would let them know, that it can be helpful on days when you are missing your loved one ans wished they were around, you could light this candle in honor of them and think of the times they shared together. |
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Memory Rock Painting Activity
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Using the Memory Rock Painting Activity with a Group
I have done this activity in big groups before and I notice that people will often break off into smaller groups and share memories about their loved one(s). I do not try to create conversation about grief and loss; it just tends to naturally occur. The only instructions I give is to paint this rock in memory of their loved one. Once we are done painting our rocks, we take them somewhere outside to put the sealer on. I explain that this rock can then be put in a garden, on a shelf, or anywhere else that they spend time remembering their loved one. |
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Memory Lantern Activity
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Using the Memory Lantern Activity with a Group
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After you have all created your memory lanterns while sharing your stories, stand together in a circle. Instruct the group that one at a time, they will step into the circle, and say something about their loved one and place their lantern in the middle of the circle. When I have done this activity before, the question I asked the group to say was what they would do if they had one more day with their loved one. The statements were thoughtful, heartwarming, and meaningful. It is important to remember that not all people wish to express their grief in the same way, so always let the children know that they do not have to say their statement out loud and they can choose to
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walk into the circle and put their lantern together with the others without saying their statement. This can be quite a powerful activity, so make sure you leave time for the children to be able to express their feelings after the activity.If possible, it can be helpful to do this activity in an area where there is little distractions and it can also be helpful to wait until the sun goes down. Some of us try to hide our tears from others. I found that the darkness allowed the children permission to let their emotions out and cry if they wish to. I also found it helpful to have bubbles for blowing on hand as the children can blow the bubbles out into the sky which makes them breathe deep breaths which will hopefully help them feel calm.