Healing Hearts Activity
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Instructions: Use the Healing Hearts pattern if you would like to cut out two pieces of fabric that remind the child of their loved one. This could be an actual article of clothing from their loved one or maybe has a design that reminds them of their loved one. 1) Pin the two pieces of fabric together with the sides that you want on the outside facing together. |
2) Pull the thread from the spool until it is as long as one of your arms and then cut the string. Put the thread through the hole in the top of the needle. Pull the two ends of the thread until they are the same size at the bottom with the needle at the top. Make a couple knots with the two ends of string.
3) Sew around the heart leaving a half inch of fabric on the outside of where you sew.
4) When you start to run out of thread (about 3 inches left), put the needle through a small piece of the fabric and pull until a loop forms with the thread. Put the needle through that loop and pull all the way and then do that one more time. Then you can cut the thread off the needle and start again with a new piece of string.
5) Remember to leave a couple inches open at the end so you have space to put the stuffing in.
3) Sew around the heart leaving a half inch of fabric on the outside of where you sew.
4) When you start to run out of thread (about 3 inches left), put the needle through a small piece of the fabric and pull until a loop forms with the thread. Put the needle through that loop and pull all the way and then do that one more time. Then you can cut the thread off the needle and start again with a new piece of string.
5) Remember to leave a couple inches open at the end so you have space to put the stuffing in.
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6) Flip the heart inside out.
7) Stuff the heart full of stuffing. 8) Sew up the opening 9) When you are done sewing the opening, put the needle through a small piece of the fabric and pull until a loop forms with the thread. Put the needle through that loop and pull all the way and then do that one more time. Then you can cut the thread off the needle and start again with a new piece of string. And voila! Now they will have a healing heart that they can squeeze and snuggle with when they want to feel more connected to the loved one that they are remembering. |
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Dino-Egg Stress Balloons
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Instructions: Get the child to pick out their favorite 3 balloons from your selection. Using the funnel, fill one balloon with flour. Cut the top/end off another balloon and place it over top of the first balloon. This will be used as an added layer of protection so if one balloon pops, there will hopefully not be a flour explosion. |
Then cut the top/end of the third balloon and put it over top of the first and the second balloon. Stretch out pieces of the third balloon (being careful to only stretch that balloon) and cut a pieces off the third balloon. This will create holes to give the stress balloon that dino-egg effect. Use the time that you have creating this Dino-Egg Stress Balloon to talk about anger, stress, and frustration. Talk about how we can express those feelings in healthy ways, like stomping our feet, crumpling our unhelpful thoughts (see below activity), or squeezing our new Dino-Egg Stress Balloon. Have the child come up with their own healthy ways to express anger.
Grief Dream Catchers Activity
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Instructions: Instructions: Lay out all the supplies and ask the children or child that you are working with to make a dream catcher. While they create, ask them if they have ever had a grief dream (a dream that involved a loved one who has died)? If yes, ask them if they feel comfortable sharing it with you. If no, ask them if they could have a dream about a loved one who has died how would they want it to look. Try to get them to add in as much detail as possible. The best way I have found to do this is to have them engage with all their senses. What does it look like? What does it sound like? What does it smell like? What does it feel like? Are their any tastes in the dream? Perhaps a magical fountain full of chocolate ice cream, cotton candy clouds, or trees that grow wild berry Skittles? |
If they want they can even draw or paint this wonderful grief dream they wish they could have. Sometimes, this can help to counteract negative dreams and bring more peaceful sleeps for kiddos. Some of us struggle to remember our dreams but having calmer more peaceful dreams may change how rested we feel in the morning whether or not we remember the dreams we had.
Try this activity for yourself and see if it changes your dreams or how rested you feel in the mornings.
When I used this activity, it was at a Children’s Grief Horse Camp, hence the horseshoe. We went to a beautiful space for the horse camp called Empowered By Horses in Abbotsford, BC. They were so great with the kiddos and very knowledgeable on how to get the kids engaging with their healing four-legged friends.
What I like about this activity is that it gives the opportunity for children to talk about what dreams they have had or have not had about their loved one who has died. In small groups we talked about our grief dreams or lack of grief dreams as we weaved our dream catchers together.
If I was working one-to-one with a child, and they talked about either having difficult or scary grief dreams, or have not had any and that has left them feeling sad, I usually ask if they would like to try another activity that has shown to be quite helpful. There is a grief dreams activity worksheet by Dr. Joshua Black who studies grief dreams and their effects on the dreamer. I have used this worksheet with a few children one-to one and with groups of adults and I have had feedback that it helped to reduce their more uncomfortable grief dreams and has sometimes even replaced the bad dreams with good ones.
Moreover, if the child you are working with has not had any grief dreams and feels left out from others who have, Dr. Joshua Black also wrote a book called Dreaming of Owl that may help children process their feelings about not getting to have grief dreams of their loved ones.
Try this activity for yourself and see if it changes your dreams or how rested you feel in the mornings.
When I used this activity, it was at a Children’s Grief Horse Camp, hence the horseshoe. We went to a beautiful space for the horse camp called Empowered By Horses in Abbotsford, BC. They were so great with the kiddos and very knowledgeable on how to get the kids engaging with their healing four-legged friends.
What I like about this activity is that it gives the opportunity for children to talk about what dreams they have had or have not had about their loved one who has died. In small groups we talked about our grief dreams or lack of grief dreams as we weaved our dream catchers together.
If I was working one-to-one with a child, and they talked about either having difficult or scary grief dreams, or have not had any and that has left them feeling sad, I usually ask if they would like to try another activity that has shown to be quite helpful. There is a grief dreams activity worksheet by Dr. Joshua Black who studies grief dreams and their effects on the dreamer. I have used this worksheet with a few children one-to one and with groups of adults and I have had feedback that it helped to reduce their more uncomfortable grief dreams and has sometimes even replaced the bad dreams with good ones.
Moreover, if the child you are working with has not had any grief dreams and feels left out from others who have, Dr. Joshua Black also wrote a book called Dreaming of Owl that may help children process their feelings about not getting to have grief dreams of their loved ones.
Crumpled Anger Thoughts
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Instructions: Talk to the child you are supporting about how sometimes we feel overwhelming feelings of anger. Often times, what is making us angry has to do with our unhelpful thoughts. Perhaps someone budges in front of us in a line up and we start to think "That person is so rude! Did they not even notice me? Do I not even matter?" Those would be examples of unhelpful thoughts. Ask them what they might think if someone budged in front of them. Then ask them how that might make them feel. It can be helpful to ask about thoughts first then feelings because it is our thoughts that come first then our feelings follow. |
Talk about how different they might feel if they try to change their unhelpful thoughts into helpful ones. What if we thought, "I wonder why they needed to get in front of me in line? Maybe their friend was up there holding a spot for them? Maybe they are in a big rush today? I am glad I am not in a rush. It will be okay if I have to wait a little longer." Ask what helpful thoughts they could have. Then ask how that might make them feel.
For this activity, they will be constructing a container for unhelpful thoughts. Cut a shoe box on the end to flip up one part of the side to create a backboard. This is what they will aim for with their Crumpled Anger Thoughts. Get them to decorate it however they think it would be best. Ideas for decorating could be something that makes them feel calm; whether that be through the colours they choose or design they make. After they are finished decorating, wrap the bottom half of the box with cellophane.
Use the time while they are decorating to talk about what unhelpful thoughts may get in their way and create more intense feelings of anger for them. Ask them if there are any thoughts they would want to change into more helpful thoughts. If they do not want to share personal thoughts, that is fine. Instead ask them about what would be unhelpful and helpful thoughts for random situations. An example could be, if a friend was rude to them what would be an unhelpful thought. Perhaps they say, "My friend doesn't like me? I wonder why they are mad at me? People don't tend to like me." Then ask what could be helpful thoughts. Perhaps they say, "My friend must be having a bad day. I hope they feel better soon. It sucks to be in a bad mood. I think it would be helpful for me to kind to my friend today."
Once the box is constructed, this is when they can write down unhelpful thoughts, crumple them up, come up with a more helpful thought, say that helpful thought out loud, and then toss that unhelpful thought in the bin. Some children (and adults, myself included) are not very good at throwing... for us, you can say something like "extra points for getting it _____ (insert where the paper landed). This will hopefully make it fun. Move the box to wherever it is easiest for them to be successful throwing their Crumpled Anger Thoughts.
An extra bonus activity would be for them to write the helpful thoughts on either the bin that they created or in a journal (if the do not want to write on their bin). That way, if they are struggling to come up with helpful thoughts in the future, they will have their helpful thoughts available to remind them.
Finally, talk to them about how they can use this tool daily. At the end of the night, they can write down any of their unhelpful thoughts and crumple them up before they go to bed, so they can rest easier with more helpful thoughts supporting them.
For this activity, they will be constructing a container for unhelpful thoughts. Cut a shoe box on the end to flip up one part of the side to create a backboard. This is what they will aim for with their Crumpled Anger Thoughts. Get them to decorate it however they think it would be best. Ideas for decorating could be something that makes them feel calm; whether that be through the colours they choose or design they make. After they are finished decorating, wrap the bottom half of the box with cellophane.
Use the time while they are decorating to talk about what unhelpful thoughts may get in their way and create more intense feelings of anger for them. Ask them if there are any thoughts they would want to change into more helpful thoughts. If they do not want to share personal thoughts, that is fine. Instead ask them about what would be unhelpful and helpful thoughts for random situations. An example could be, if a friend was rude to them what would be an unhelpful thought. Perhaps they say, "My friend doesn't like me? I wonder why they are mad at me? People don't tend to like me." Then ask what could be helpful thoughts. Perhaps they say, "My friend must be having a bad day. I hope they feel better soon. It sucks to be in a bad mood. I think it would be helpful for me to kind to my friend today."
Once the box is constructed, this is when they can write down unhelpful thoughts, crumple them up, come up with a more helpful thought, say that helpful thought out loud, and then toss that unhelpful thought in the bin. Some children (and adults, myself included) are not very good at throwing... for us, you can say something like "extra points for getting it _____ (insert where the paper landed). This will hopefully make it fun. Move the box to wherever it is easiest for them to be successful throwing their Crumpled Anger Thoughts.
An extra bonus activity would be for them to write the helpful thoughts on either the bin that they created or in a journal (if the do not want to write on their bin). That way, if they are struggling to come up with helpful thoughts in the future, they will have their helpful thoughts available to remind them.
Finally, talk to them about how they can use this tool daily. At the end of the night, they can write down any of their unhelpful thoughts and crumple them up before they go to bed, so they can rest easier with more helpful thoughts supporting them.
Coping activities can help you and your child, or children in your life, find healthy ways to express feelings. If we are able to help children find healthy ways that they can express their thoughts and feelings this could make a big impact on their future and the future of our world. The more children that are able to navigate life, throughout triumphs and struggles, in healthy ways, the more caring, empathetic, and peaceful our world will be.
Each book in the Woodland Wisdom Books series shares three activities you can try with children to help them express their thoughts and feelings and cope with what they are going through.
Here are some more activities that I have used in children's counselling or group support that I have found helpful in helping children express their feelings.
Each book in the Woodland Wisdom Books series shares three activities you can try with children to help them express their thoughts and feelings and cope with what they are going through.
Here are some more activities that I have used in children's counselling or group support that I have found helpful in helping children express their feelings.
Difficult Issue Covered: Grief & Loss
Layers of Love Activity
Layers of Love Activity
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Instructions: Have the child fill the glass container with different colours of sand. With each layer they would be encouraged (but never forced) to share a memory of their loved one. At the same time, I invite them to write out a legend with all of the layers and the memories shared for each one. Sometimes they have asked me to write this out for them as they share.
Using the Layers of Love Activity with a Group: When I used this in a family art night, I got the family members to sit together in small circles and each pick out a different colour of sand. As they went around their circle, they would pour a layer in their glass container and share their memory of the loved one they are grieving. I would also get someone in their group to inscribe their legend of what each layer represents. Then, at the end, I would provide them with a small candle to place at the top, snuggled into the sand. I would let them know, that it can be helpful on days when you are missing your loved one ans wished they were around, you could light this candle in honor of them and think of the times they shared together. |
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Difficult Issue Covered: Feelings
Hidden Feelings Activity
Hidden Feelings Activity
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You could introduce this activity by talking about how there are some feelings that we may be more comfortable showing the world like happiness, sadness, and frustration. Then there are other feelings that we may be less comfortable showing others like embarrassment, shame, and anger. Have the child paint their interpretation of the feelings they are comfortable showing others on the front of the mask and their more uncomfortable feelings on the inside. Then they can decorate both sides if they want to.
There may be some opportunities in which the child may wish to share what they are painting. Try to only ask open ended questions like "tell me about your painting?" or "what are some healthy ways that you can express your uncomfortable feelings?". Make sure the child knows that they only share what they are comfortable sharing with you.
While talking about healthy ways to express uncomfortable feelings, you may have an opportunity for a conversation on what type of supports the child may have to talk about their feelings with. If the child is struggling to think of ideas you could help them brainstorm. Some supports may be: a caregiver, a parent, a teacher, a counsellor, a friend, or a relative. If the child is unable to come up with people in their daily lives that they can go to for support with difficult issues then it can be helpful to have a couple local resources available to provide to the child (i.e. a kids help phone line or a children's mental health resource website.
Using the Hidden Feelings Activity with a Group: I have used this activity in a group setting and the way it works best is to have as much adult support in the room as possible. It worked well with a ratio of 1 adult per 2-3 children, this way the children have enough support around if they feel like sharing about their artwork.
There may be some opportunities in which the child may wish to share what they are painting. Try to only ask open ended questions like "tell me about your painting?" or "what are some healthy ways that you can express your uncomfortable feelings?". Make sure the child knows that they only share what they are comfortable sharing with you.
While talking about healthy ways to express uncomfortable feelings, you may have an opportunity for a conversation on what type of supports the child may have to talk about their feelings with. If the child is struggling to think of ideas you could help them brainstorm. Some supports may be: a caregiver, a parent, a teacher, a counsellor, a friend, or a relative. If the child is unable to come up with people in their daily lives that they can go to for support with difficult issues then it can be helpful to have a couple local resources available to provide to the child (i.e. a kids help phone line or a children's mental health resource website.
Using the Hidden Feelings Activity with a Group: I have used this activity in a group setting and the way it works best is to have as much adult support in the room as possible. It worked well with a ratio of 1 adult per 2-3 children, this way the children have enough support around if they feel like sharing about their artwork.
Difficult Issue Covered: Death, Grief, & Loss
Memory Rock Painting Activity
Memory Rock Painting Activity
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Using the Memory Rock Painting Activity with a Group:
I have done this activity in big groups before and I notice that people will often break off into smaller groups and share memories about their loved one(s). I do not try to create conversation about grief and loss; it just tends to naturally occur. The only instructions I give is to paint this rock in memory of their loved one. Once we are done painting our rocks, we take them somewhere outside to put the sealer on. I explain that this rock can then be put in a garden, on a shelf, or anywhere else that they spend time remembering their loved one.
I have done this activity in big groups before and I notice that people will often break off into smaller groups and share memories about their loved one(s). I do not try to create conversation about grief and loss; it just tends to naturally occur. The only instructions I give is to paint this rock in memory of their loved one. Once we are done painting our rocks, we take them somewhere outside to put the sealer on. I explain that this rock can then be put in a garden, on a shelf, or anywhere else that they spend time remembering their loved one.
This Activity Could be used for a Variety of Difficult Issues
Safe Place Diorama
Safe Place Diorama
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Sometimes we might not want to be where we are, we might not want to be doing what we are doing, we may be having some unhelpful thoughts, or we may be going through a difficult situation. One thing that I have found helpful is to, even if just for a moment, go into my “Safe Place” in my mind. It can have a calming effect to think of some of the things that make me feel safe and calm.
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When I use this activity, I explain that it is helpful if a Safe Place has 5 things that engage all our senses:
- Sight: beautiful scenery that the child feels most calm in
- Sound: a sound (i.e. waves or birds chirping) or certain music
- Touch: something that feels pleasing to the child; perhaps something soft and soothing
- Smell: a smell that soothes them
- Taste: ask them to think of the most delicious food they want there
My safe place is a wooded forest with a snowy holiday village I can go to. It sounds like calming spa music. My cat, Spike, is there and he is so soft to touch. It smells like lavender because that smell helps to calm me. For taste, the trees grow Wild Berry Skittles because those are by favorite!
The point of the activity is to have a momentary reprieve from a difficult situation, to remember joy, and to feel calmed by grounding ourselves in our senses. It also helps you to get to know the child more; what is important to them and what helps to calm them down? If you are not the caregiver of this child, it can be helpful to share the information about what would help soothe the child during difficult situations (i.e. certain smells or sounds). Remember that it is important to get the permission of the child to share this information with their caregiver especially if you are a counsellor.
Using this Activity with a Group:
Follow the above instructions but tailor the activity to fit your particular group. If the group covers grief and loss, you could ask all the children to make their diorama about their favorite memory with their loved one who has died. If it is a group about self-esteem, you could ask them to make their diorama about a time they felt proud. The possibilities are endless! Remember that not all children will want to do this activity or they may have a completely different idea of what they want to make for their diorama. Give them the freedom to do so. It is important to give space for those who may want to express their thought and feelings in different ways.
Difficult Issue Covered: Death, Grief, & Loss
Memory Lantern Activity
Memory Lantern Activity
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Using the Memory Lantern Activity with a Group:
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After you have all created your memory lanterns while sharing your stories, stand together in a circle. Instruct the group that one at a time, they will step into the circle, and say something about their loved one and place their lantern in the middle of the circle. When I have done this activity before, the question I asked the group to say was what they would do if they had one more day with their loved one. The statements were thoughtful, heartwarming, and meaningful. It is important to remember that not all people wish to express their grief in the same way, so always let the children know that they do not have to say their statement out loud and they can choose to walk into
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the circle and put their lantern together with the others without saying their statement. This can be quite a powerful activity, so make sure you leave time for the children to be able to express their feelings after the activity.If possible, it can be helpful to do this activity in an area where there is little distractions and it can also be helpful to wait until the sun goes down. Some of us try to hide our tears from others. I found that the darkness allowed the children permission to let their emotions out and cry if they wish to. I also found it helpful to have bubbles for blowing on hand as the children can blow the bubbles out into the sky which makes them breathe deep breaths which will hopefully help them feel calm.