Coping Activities

Coping activities can help you and your child, or children in your life, find healthy ways to express feelings. If we are able to help children find healthy ways that they can express their thoughts and feelings this could make a big impact on the future of our world. The more children that are able to navigate life, throughout triumphs and struggles, in healthy ways, the more caring, empathetic, and peaceful our world will be.

Each book in the Woodland Wisdom Books series shares three activities you can try with children to help them express their thoughts and feelings and cope with what they are going through.

Try out these activities below alongside the child you are hoping to help through a difficult issue.

Difficult Issue Covered: Grief & Loss
Layers of Love Activity

Suggested Materials:

Glass container (could be a jar, old candle holder, or small vase)
Different colour sands ( you should be able to find this at craft stores)
Candles (only with adult supervision)
Card-stock paper
Stickers (Gem lines work great to represent each line, but they could also add stickers of what reminds them of their loved one)
Pens

Instructions: Have the child fill the glass container with different colours of sand. With each layer they would be encouraged (but never forced) to share a memory of their loved one. At the same time, I invite them to write out a legend with all of the layers and the memories shared for each one. Sometimes they have asked me to write this out for them as they share.

Using the Layers of Love Activity with a Group: When I used this in a family art night, I got the family members to sit together in small circles and each pick out a different colour of sand. As they went around their circle, they would pour a layer in their glass container and share their memory of the loved one they are grieving. I would also get someone in their group to inscribe their legend of what each layer represents. Then, at the end, I would provide them with a small candle to place at the top, snuggled into the sand. I would let them know, that it can be helpful on days when you are missing your loved one ans wished they were around, you could light this candle in honor of them and think of the times they shared together.

Difficult Issue Covered: Feelings
Hidden Feelings Activity

Suggested Materials:

Mask(s)
Paint
Paint brushes
Glue
Any other craft material you would like for decorating mask

You could introduce this activity by talking about how there are some feelings that we may be more comfortable showing the world like happiness, sadness, and frustration. Then there are other feelings that we may be less comfortable showing others like embarrassment, shame, and anger. Have the child paint their interpretation of the feelings they are comfortable showing others on the front of the mask and their more uncomfortable feelings on the inside. Then they can decorate both sides if they want to.

There may be some opportunities in which the child may wish to share what they are painting. Try to only ask open ended questions like "tell me about your painting?" or "what are some healthy ways that you can express your uncomfortable feelings?". Make sure the child knows that they only share what they are comfortable sharing with you.

While talking about healthy ways to express uncomfortable feelings, you may have an opportunity for a conversation on what type of supports the child may have to talk about their feelings with. If the child is struggling to think of ideas you could help them brainstorm. Some supports may be: a caregiver, a parent, a teacher, a counsellor, a friend, or a relative. If the child is unable to come up with people in their daily lives that they can go to for support with difficult issues then it can be helpful to have a couple local resources available to provide to the child (i.e. a kids help phone line or a children's mental health resource website.

Using the Hidden Feelings Activity with a Group: I have used this activity in a group setting and the way it works best is to have as much adult support in the room as possible. It worked well with a ratio of 1 adult per 2-3 children, this way the children have enough support around if they feel like sharing about their artwork.

Difficult Issue Covered: Death, Grief, & Loss
Memory Rock Painting Activity

Suggested Materials:

Flat rocks with a smooth surface to paint on
Paint (I prefer Acrylic because it dries faster)
Fine tipped black Sharpie pen for fine detail
A sealer for your finished product to protect it from the weather. I have used a UV-resistant clear matte spray that I got from a craft store.

Instructions: Find a peaceful place to paint your rocks and share memories about the loved ones you are wanting to remember. Paint the rocks with whatever reminds you of your loved one who has died. Then wait for it to dry (which could take a day or two - sometimes I do this activity over two days). Then coat with a sealer to try to protect it from discoloring and damage.

Using the Memory Rock Painting Activity with a Group:
I have done this activity in big groups before and I notice that people will often break off into smaller groups and share memories about their loved one(s). I do not try to create conversation about grief and loss; it just tends to naturally occur. The only instructions I give is to paint this rock in memory of their loved one. Once we are done painting our rocks, we take them somewhere outside to put the sealer on. I explain that this rock can then be put in a garden, on a shelf, or anywhere else that they spend time remembering their loved one.

This Activity Could be used for a Variety of Difficult Issues
Safe Place Diorama

Suggested Materials:

A shoe box and any craft supplies that you would like

Sometimes we might not want to be where we are, we might not want to be doing what we are doing, we may be having some unhelpful thoughts, or we may be going through a difficult situation. One thing that I have found helpful is to, even if just for a moment, go into my “Safe Place” in my mind. It can have a calming effect to think of some of the things that make me feel safe and calm.

When I use this activity, I explain that it is helpful if a Safe Place has 5 things that engage all our senses:

Sight: beautiful scenery that the child feels most calm in
Sound: a sound (i.e. waves or birds chirping) or certain music
Touch: something that feels pleasing to the child; perhaps something soft and soothing
Smell: a smell that soothes them
Taste: ask them to think of the most delicious food they want there

My safe place is a wooded forest with a snowy holiday village I can go to. It sounds like calming spa music. My cat, Spike, is there and he is so soft to touch. It smells like lavender because that smell helps to calm me. For taste, the trees grow Wild Berry Skittles because those are by favorite!
The point of the activity is to have a momentary reprieve from a difficult situation, to remember joy, and to feel calmed by grounding ourselves in our senses. It also helps you to get to know the child more; what is important to them and what helps to calm them down? If you are not the caregiver of this child, it can be helpful to share the information about what would help soothe the child during difficult situations (i.e. certain smells or sounds). Remember that it is important to get the permission of the child to share this information with their caregiver especially if you are a counsellor.

Using this Activity with a Group:
Follow the above instructions but tailor the activity to fit your particular group. If the group covers grief and loss, you could ask all the children to make their diorama about their favorite memory with their loved one who has died. If it is a group about self-esteem, you could ask them to make their diorama about a time they felt proud. The possibilities are endless! Remember that not all children will want to do this activity or they may have a completely different idea of what they want to make for their diorama. Give them the freedom to do so. It is important to give space for those who may want to express their thought and feelings in different ways.

Difficult Issue Covered: Death, Grief, & Loss
Memory Lantern Activity

Suggested Materials:

A jar (per person),
Alphabet letter stickers, and
Other craft materials you would like on the outside of the jar
If you would like to hang the lantern, you could get wire, a wire cutter, and pillars to twist the wire and get rid of any sharp edges

Instructions: Find a calming place to set up your craft supplies. Then decorate the lantern however you wish. You may encourage the child to make the lantern in memory of their loved one who has died, but let them know that they can decorate the lantern look however they want to. Create your own lantern as the child works on theirs. While you create alongside each other you will have opportunities to talk about special memories you have of the loved ones you are remembering. Try to keep the focus on the child and their stories, but it can be helpful if you share similar stories to theirs to help them normalize their feelings.

Using the Memory Lantern Activity with a Group:

After you have all created your memory lanterns while sharing your stories, stand together in a circle. Instruct the group that one at a time, they will step into the circle, and say something about their loved one and place their lantern in the middle of the circle. When I have done this activity before, the question I asked the group to say was what they would do if they had one more day with their loved one. The statements were thoughtful, heartwarming, and meaningful. It is important to remember that not all people wish to express their grief in the same way, so always let the children know that they do not have to say their statement out loud and they can choose to walk into

the circle and put their lantern together with the others without saying their statement. This can be quite a powerful activity, so make sure you leave time for the children to be able to express their feelings after the activity.If possible, it can be helpful to do this activity in an area where there is little distractions and it can also be helpful to wait until the sun goes down. Some of us try to hide our tears from others. I found that the darkness allowed the children permission to let their emotions out and cry if they wish to. I also found it helpful to have bubbles for blowing on hand as the children can blow the bubbles out into the sky which makes them breathe deep breaths which will hopefully help them feel calm.