Crumpled Anger Thoughts
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Instructions: Talk to the child you are supporting about how sometimes we feel overwhelming feelings of anger. Often times, what is making us angry has to do with our unhelpful thoughts. Perhaps someone budges in front of us in a line up and we start to think "That person is so rude! Did they not even notice me? Do I not even matter?" Those would be examples of unhelpful thoughts. Ask them what they might think if someone budged in front of them. Then ask them how that might make them feel. It can be helpful to ask about thoughts first then feelings because it is our thoughts that come first then our feelings follow. |
Talk about how different they might feel if they try to change their unhelpful thoughts into helpful ones. What if we thought, "I wonder why they needed to get in front of me in line? Maybe their friend was up there holding a spot for them? Maybe they are in a big rush today? I am glad I am not in a rush. It will be okay if I have to wait a little longer." Ask what helpful thoughts they could have. Then ask how that might make them feel.
For this activity, they will be constructing a container for unhelpful thoughts. Cut a shoe box on the end to flip up one part of the side to create a backboard. This is what they will aim for with their Crumpled Anger Thoughts. Get them to decorate it however they think it would be best. Ideas for decorating could be something that makes them feel calm; whether that be through the colours they choose or design they make. After they are finished decorating, wrap the bottom half of the box with cellophane.
Use the time while they are decorating to talk about what unhelpful thoughts may get in their way and create more intense feelings of anger for them. Ask them if there are any thoughts they would want to change into more helpful thoughts. If they do not want to share personal thoughts, that is fine. Instead ask them about what would be unhelpful and helpful thoughts for random situations. An example could be, if a friend was rude to them what would be an unhelpful thought. Perhaps they say, "My friend doesn't like me? I wonder why they are mad at me? People don't tend to like me." Then ask what could be helpful thoughts. Perhaps they say, "My friend must be having a bad day. I hope they feel better soon. It sucks to be in a bad mood. I think it would be helpful for me to kind to my friend today."
Once the box is constructed, this is when they can write down unhelpful thoughts, crumple them up, come up with a more helpful thought, say that helpful thought out loud, and then toss that unhelpful thought in the bin. Some children (and adults, myself included) are not very good at throwing... for us, you can say something like "extra points for getting it _____ (insert where the paper landed). This will hopefully make it fun. Move the box to wherever it is easiest for them to be successful throwing their Crumpled Anger Thoughts.
An extra bonus activity would be for them to write the helpful thoughts on either the bin that they created or in a journal (if the do not want to write on their bin). That way, if they are struggling to come up with helpful thoughts in the future, they will have their helpful thoughts available to remind them.
Finally, talk to them about how they can use this tool daily. At the end of the night, they can write down any of their unhelpful thoughts and crumple them up before they go to bed, so they can rest easier with more helpful thoughts supporting them.
For this activity, they will be constructing a container for unhelpful thoughts. Cut a shoe box on the end to flip up one part of the side to create a backboard. This is what they will aim for with their Crumpled Anger Thoughts. Get them to decorate it however they think it would be best. Ideas for decorating could be something that makes them feel calm; whether that be through the colours they choose or design they make. After they are finished decorating, wrap the bottom half of the box with cellophane.
Use the time while they are decorating to talk about what unhelpful thoughts may get in their way and create more intense feelings of anger for them. Ask them if there are any thoughts they would want to change into more helpful thoughts. If they do not want to share personal thoughts, that is fine. Instead ask them about what would be unhelpful and helpful thoughts for random situations. An example could be, if a friend was rude to them what would be an unhelpful thought. Perhaps they say, "My friend doesn't like me? I wonder why they are mad at me? People don't tend to like me." Then ask what could be helpful thoughts. Perhaps they say, "My friend must be having a bad day. I hope they feel better soon. It sucks to be in a bad mood. I think it would be helpful for me to kind to my friend today."
Once the box is constructed, this is when they can write down unhelpful thoughts, crumple them up, come up with a more helpful thought, say that helpful thought out loud, and then toss that unhelpful thought in the bin. Some children (and adults, myself included) are not very good at throwing... for us, you can say something like "extra points for getting it _____ (insert where the paper landed). This will hopefully make it fun. Move the box to wherever it is easiest for them to be successful throwing their Crumpled Anger Thoughts.
An extra bonus activity would be for them to write the helpful thoughts on either the bin that they created or in a journal (if the do not want to write on their bin). That way, if they are struggling to come up with helpful thoughts in the future, they will have their helpful thoughts available to remind them.
Finally, talk to them about how they can use this tool daily. At the end of the night, they can write down any of their unhelpful thoughts and crumple them up before they go to bed, so they can rest easier with more helpful thoughts supporting them.
